Wednesday, 25 June 2008

O Lord...

“ O God, Thou art my stores when I sorrow, Thou art my recourse when I am deprived, from Thee I seek aid when troubled and with Thee is a substitute for everything gone by, a correction for everything corrupted, and a change from everything Thou dissaprovest”

“O Allah, Tempt me not to seek help from other than Thee when I am distressed, to humble myself in asking from someone else when I am poor, or to plead with someone less than Thee when I fear”

Monday, 2 June 2008


Dear Pakcik,

It’s your birthday today. Happy 29th birthday!

Hope you had enjoy your life till this very second and achieved what you always wanted in life or maybe you could do even better in your life ahead. Thank you for being such a great friend. Have anyone told you how wonderful you are? I bet there’s plenty! Couldn’t aspect more and shouldn’t aspect more than what we have had till this very moment. Knowing you in these past few months has opened my eyes to your very distinct species and has made me narrowed down all characteristics for good and bad guys and even looking at mineral water bottle won’t be the same after this.

In this opportunity, I would like to apologise for always making you mad at me, for always finding ways to talk back and condemned to every single word you said, for always being late when meeting you, for always asking you with my weird sort of pain in the head type of questions, for always finding ways to step on your shoes and for all other things that I have done to suffer you enough throughout this time, I’m simply sorry.

While I’m writing this blog I realised that being an adult meaning that I would have to endure the pain of losing good friends. I once felt terribly hard to go on with life when facing the fact that Ang is not going to be here with me anymore. Though we have always chat and email each other most of the time but having each other side by side is more what I needed than just a phone call or an email. Thinking about losing another one is already hurting me but I do realise that the time will come. No matter how hard I refused to acknowledge it, it will definitely be there. As time past on, I have eventually able to stand on my own and everything seemed to fall into place. And I know I will be even better this time around.

Yeah, you might say it’s not like I can’t and won’t be able to meet you again. But will it be the same? Bet it won’t be! I can’t just step on your shoes like I always do right after not seeing each other for 3 years? or laugh crazily at what ever you are saying... or even condemned your new hairdo, can I? Or maybe I could! Anyway, life must goes on. No matter what the journey will look like in the future, I must preserve. I can’t just rely on anybody. So Pakcik, don’t worry about me. I’ll be perfectly fine and as you once described me… “kau nih ganas sangat larr!”. Thus I’m sure with my ‘ganas’ ability, I’ll be okay.

Once again, I wish you all the best and I hope your journey to France is going to be great… “So enjoy yer trip to Eiffel, mate!” (in scotts accent!)

My life ends when losing you but it will definitely shines back once I get your wedding invitation card... After all, as I always say to you, we are natural born enemies. Perhaps I could use some of the photos at Skye to sabotage you... huhu... What? Do you think I would praised you for nothing huh! And last but not least, I would take back all good things I have said above about you. Why? After all we are enemies. I can’t just praise my enemy, can I? wakakakaa :P

Saturday, 26 April 2008








photos from last trip to Spain with Nida & Hanem..

Monday, 21 April 2008


On my way to work yesterday, I keep listing up things in my head... things that could make me happy or someone happy... I started filling up my list within 20 minutes with a lot of things and on top of my list would be great family members and good friends.

2) Stable financial condition

3) Great educational background and religious life… (This is however just for some ppl.. but all I know religion & education is vital nowadays)

4) Accommodation & great neighbourhood to live in especially one with nice view… (This popped-up on my mind when Campsie glen was in front of me…)

Oh, how could I forget! Having said all that without a healthy body, all luxury could be useless…

Then, when the bus comes to halt and the driver smiled at me, I started listing up again…

6) If you travel to any destination using public transportation, maybe a behaved driver could be a great help for you especially if you are travelling home after a tiring day… hmm…that’s really true I guess…

7) Pleasant holiday vacations… I’m thinking of going to Italy this year… but where to?

hmm...what else... aah!

8) Comfortable clothing to wear... especially shoes… a pair of snickers perhaps

9) Tasty food to enjoy... watch out char koey teow...! I'll be back this year...heheheh

10) Nice weather... owh..maybe not.. well, sometimes you do need this... hmmm

I could continue filling up this list forever… I decided to stop listing yesterday once I saw my ward... suddenly there was something else comes knocking on head...

I wonder what happened to the seven months pregnant young lady who died yesterday after choking on food. Or did she killed hersef? In a psychiatric hospital, anything is possible! But it’s a shame, she was just 22 years old.

Owh no! A post mortem??!! She got baby in her stomach... for God's sake! ...

Thursday, 10 April 2008


just wanted to share my fav nasyeed with everyone...


Mawlaya salli wa sallim da’iman abada
'Ala habibika khayril khalqi kullihimi

O my Master, send your salutations and blessings forever
Upon Your Beloved, the best of the whole of creation

Muhammadun sayyidul kawnayni wath thaqalayn
Wal fariqayni min 'urbin wa min 'ajami

Muhammad is the master of the two worldsand of Man and the jinn
Leader also of the Arabs, non-Arabs and their kin

Huwal habibul ladhi turja shafa'atuhu
Likulli hawlin minal ahwali muqtahami

Beloved by Allah is he upon whose pleading we depend
From terrors of the Day of Judgement,which on us descend


Thummar ridha 'an Abi Bakrin wa 'an 'Umarin
Wa 'an 'Aliyyin wa 'an 'Uthmana dhil karami

Then we ask You to be pleased with Abu Bakr, 'Umar,
'Ali and 'Uthman the generous one


Ya rabbi bil Mustafa balligh maqasidana
Waghfir lana ma ma\a ya wasi'al karami
O my Lord! with the Elect One make us attain our goals
And forgive us for what has passed,O Most Munificent One!

Lyrics: Imam Sharaf al-Din al-Busairi (d.696/1296)
Arrangement: Sami Yusuf
Producer: Sami Yusuf

Friday, 28 March 2008


'the' daffodils...

me & the flowers...


Tuesday, 25 March 2008


Went out today with my sister and Asnor… known as pakcik by us… hee… to cineworld and ended-up watching two movies, the Spiderwick chronicles and the other Boleyn girl. Both movies were remarkable and I simply loved them. We had 1 ½ hours break after the first movie and on the way to Sumsa, we met 4 Malaysian girls from Newcastle, Leeds and don’t remember… asking for a taxi stand and on the way back to Cineworld, we met two families, one asking for a bus stop to Glasgow International Airport and another asking for 44/66 bus route… hee… it was quite a day today… after sending them to their directions, snow suddenly poured on us… for just a few minutes though… to simply put an end to our beautiful outing!

with Pakcik


LOVE MONEY?... I must say I do!...

Monday, 3 March 2008


I really wish I'm not going to be this hopeless once I get married... heee

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.

I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can’t say it improved the rice anyhow.

Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.” I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I’ll try to be supportive.

Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, “put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it.” I did. Then I went to my mum’s place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.

Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I’m sure I don’t know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it’s little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance.

When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out “why me? why me ?”
Hmmm….It must be his job.

And guess what is going to happen on Sunday?

(Dr. Hurriyah El Islamy)

Saturday, 1 March 2008


I have always wanted to upload photos from my last graduation and also Aidil's... though they were quite sometimes now, I always think that they are worth remembering and perhaps not too late to share them with everyone… Many thanks to EZ & Khai for the efforts (photographers) & all friends that were there for me... THANK YOU...


EZ has invited me for dinner on this coming Friday at 8pm to eat YONG TAU FOO... one with spicy sauce... drooling... HURRAY!!! & therefore... most probably I'll be uploading pics soon... TQ EZ! it must be hard for you to have me as your friend!... heee

Looking forward to the future!

mE? think again!... :P

Nae worries... I did watch my steps!

The three of us

This way pls...

Aidil's Convocation day... Autumn 2007

Thursday, 24 January 2008


It has been a tradition for Atie to circulate text messages to close friends and relatives reminding them not to forget to make ‘extra prayers and doas’ for us during exams… especially this time around… “the MSc examination”. There were replied messages from Jep, Makyut, Moon, Kak Riana and few relatives. And one of them was a replied message from my aunt, Mak Ngah Lin. From the start, she was really supportive and always been one of the closest aunts to us, one that you could talk about everything... and that certainly includes guy’s matters...
Her message was...

“Assalamualaikum my dearest… not to worry, be calm. InsyaAllah everything will turn out fine n perfect… Mak Ngah berdoa that both of you get thru successfully… I’ve faith in you… go girls you can do it!! Yes! You can!! InsyaAllah! Do take care n love ya!.. Wasalam.”

After reading their messages, I automatically felt that how it sought to influence ones moods by giving them such courage at a very crucial time, time where most supports are needed... thank you dear friends and relatives... I really mean it… thank you so much guys!

Now the exams are all over, I think I need to carry on with my day-light-living. For the past few weeks, I have only slept for 3 to 4 hours per day and mostly did my work during night time. Don’t get me wrong, not that I studied all day, it’s just that I was afraid that I might wake up late than I supposed to or even worst, waking up regretting that I should have finished studying all of the syllabus if I didn't sleep, so I decided to do things that won’t let me fall asleep such as talking to friends on really un-sleepy topics... n etc

All through last semester was really hectic, I was busy preparing for presentations, lab reports and also not to forget, the most horrified task of all my entire student life, was to write a business report, yes, a business report! well... actually it was two, one for electricity market and another for regulation’s course, which I have never thought I could write one, me, an engineering student writing a business report? The world must be near to an end! Everything went well though... and I even received the highest mark in the class for my regulation’s report, well actually my group did (Thanks Aidil, Jali and Vivek!), thus making my study week a really chaotic one. I was very tired till I felt that both my eyes were liked to pop out from their sockets and my bones were about to squash my flesh.

There’s no way I’m going through this hell again, so for the second semester, which will start at the very beginning of next week, I have decided to manage time more efficiently and be more diligent. I have also decided to take subjects that will give benefits to me in the terms of my newly-mission-of time management, and I also will arranged my classes well, so that I could have one or two days free, in order for me to write reports or just to hang out, and most importantly subjects that are related to my project’s topic, the "Adaptive controls for micro grid operation under small and large disturbances"...
As always, I probably will go on a short vacation just for one or two days to Edinburgh, with my sister and another classmate but nothing has been decided yet… in a mean time, I will continue lazying around my house... Assolatuqairumminannaum...............

Wednesday, 9 January 2008


About half four this evening I received a text message from Kak Intan reminding me to not forget to recite doa that symbolise the ending and starting of Muslim year. I could still remember how my dad made all four of us, both of my brothers, my sister and me, went to mosque to recite this doa back home. The meaning of this doa really touched my heart and it always reminds me to make a really good new year wishes and try to accomplish them. Let us have a really good look at the meaning of this meaningful doa…

“Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang, segala puji-pujian bagi Allah Pentadbir sekalian alam, selawat dan salam ke atas semulia-mulia Nabi dan Rasul iaitu penghulu kami Nabi Muhammad s.a.w dan di atas keluarganya dan para sahabatnya sekalian. Ya Allah! Engkaulah yang kekal, qadim lagi azali dan di atas kelebihan Engkau yang besar dan kemurahan Engkau yang melimpah dan ini adalah tahun baru yang sesungguhnya telah mendatangi kami, kami memohon kepada Engkau pemeliharaan padanya daripada syaitan yang direjam, pembantu-pembantunya dan tentera-tenteranya dan kami memohon pertolongan di atas nafsu yang banyak mendorong kepada kejahatan dan kami memohon kepada Engkau bagi melakukan sebarang pekerjaan yang boleh mendekatkan diri kami kepada Engkau. Ya Allah! Tuhan yang mengubahkan segala keadaan, ubahkanlah keadaan kami kepada sebaik-baik keadaan dengan kekuasaan dan kekuatan Engkau wahai Tuhan yang mengerasi lagi Maha Tinggi.

Wahai Tuhan kami! Kurniakanlah kepada kami kebahagiaan di dunia dan kebahagiaan di akhirat dan peliharalah kami akan azab api neraka”


Monday, 7 January 2008


- simply melepak -
- swing...swing -
- a week old -

Yes, by looking at those photos people would know right away that I have a twin sister. Yes again, we have never been separated, not once. Well at least not yet. What can I do, I love her so much!

Before we were born, mum and dad did not expect us to be twin but they were incidents during her pregnancy that they keep repeatedly telling me and my sister about. It’s really funny though... how my dad felt the motorcycle was really heavy when climbing up Bukit Baru in Penang compared to her first pregnancy...she was not as heavy as this time around... and how she didn’t experience any morning sicknesses or wanting to eat weird and unnecessary foods or anything, but my dad was like half dead having morning sicknesses, funny isn't it? and mymum would say ' Anak abah la katakan!' ...heee

One reason why my mum didn’t feel like she was carrying us because her baby bump was really small and there’s no other unpredicted difficulties during her pregnancy and plus my mum went to check to two doctors and yet there was nothing they had realised. My mum told me that we were very small and tiny when we were born and she had no complication while giving birth to us. She even said that it was easier giving birth to us compared to my other two brothers. Owh! How I love her.

We were born in my grandma’s house in Penang and that bidan, Mak Munah, told my mum that we would bring my family’s luck and rezeki... how sweet... Mak Munah until now keeps asking my mum how we are and she keeps telling her that she missed us especially during Ramadhan... How I missed her as well. She would kiss me and my sister repeatedly and hug us every time we had come across her. Well what can I say; I’m a little bit famous back home...:)

Back home people would call us anak semilai or simply atiani. Why? It’s simply because ikan semilai are all alike and atiani is simply combination of both of our nicknames, ati for Yatie and ani for Yanie. This is due to the reason that people cannot differentiate us... so they end up calling us with such cute names... We are not really totally alike and our behaviours are definitely different. Close friends would know right away which is which. As for my sister, she's a little bit friendlier than me and her character is lively. Me? I’m totally different from her and the only thing we've shared is our interest and blood & DNA of course. We love travelling and always involve in extreme outdoors activities; hiking and that involve mountain climbing, swimming, fishing, canoeing, camping and REMPITing :)... we've got this from my dad...except for the rempit thing...he's such a nature lover...

My mum and dad really and totally understand us. If we ever needed to go out while they weren't home, all we need to do was just left some notes telling them where we are going patched onto the fridge. As simple as that. They would know exactly with whom we went out with (obviously with Makyut and Jep) and they would be expecting us to come home at night... because that's what we always do. They seem easy on us, right? I once felt really depressed because of this... it was when I asked them if they would allow me to go study abroad, my mum simply said that as long as I know how to take care of my self, she would definitely allow it. I was so happy but then... when I talk to my friends they told me that their mum didn't allow them to go simply because they were worried that things might turn out to be the other way I went back to ask my mum wanting her to explain why she was so easy on letting me abroad... She calmly said that she trust me and believe that I would never involve with bad things... and she added that she knew that I would protect my solah and also I didn’t involve with men... back home and if I do, she knows I would know the limit. I was touched and amazed that my mum trusted me to such level. I would rather not disappoint her in such matters. Once again when I told her I would want to continue my study to PHD level and might probably get married a little bit late or might not at all, she simply said that it’s all about jodoh and as long as I don’t get involve with other women’s hubby, she would be okay. That’s simply is my mum... My dad? Ever heard of a good woman for a great guy? :) There you go... you've got the answer already... Love them so much... Miss them so much...


Friday, 4 January 2008

MASEHI: 2008 & HIJRAH: 1428

To myself:
I really wish that this would be my last study week before examination…though I don’t really know what might come to me in the nearest future and I really do hope that I might be able to perform hajj and gain my highest degree before my 30th birthday...

I love both of you very much and really hope that this year I would be able to kiss both your hands and ask for forgiveness... and may Allah bless our family with great future ahead of us.

I really hope that we would never be separated now, in the future and life afterwards. I also wish that we would be able to paint our future with a very bright colour.

I hope that you would reconsider your plan and won’t get married this year because I really want to spend more time with you and our family more than before.

I really wish and always pray that you would like me more than before and pray that your SPM result would be as great as you predicted it would be. And also may your future, on earth and life afterwards, be blessed.

I love you both and may our friendship last forever and I also hope that we would be able to be with each other in the Jannah. Thank you for everything... for helping me all this time especially for all the solat hajat & doa...

To my family:
To all my family in Penang, Tapah and Rawang, may 2008 be a great year for all of us and please pray that both of us could return safely this year eventhough it's just for a while...

To Mr H:
Thanks for being such a great friend... makan nasik minyak jgn lupa I okay...

To Malaysian Gang:
Though I've only got few friends in Malaysia, I really do hope that all of them would be in good shape so that I would be able to see them once I return.

To Glaswegian Gang:
Love all of you so much. Thank you and sorry for all the troubles I’ve put all of you through. Wish that all of us could keep in contact eventhough we are no longer the Glaswegian gang.

To UK Gang:
To all of Malaysian or non-Malaysian friends in the UK, I hope that this year would bring us lots of happiness and may Allah bless our lives.

To my other half:
I always pray for your happiness and may Allah help us in finding each other & whoever you are, I really do hope that you would take care of yourself and always return to Allah in everything you do.